Simha: Raising Lions, Not Lambs
Confidence, not compliance
Confidence, not compliance
The False Virtue of Compliance
Somewhere along the way, we confused compliance with virtue. We praised daughters for being 'quiet,' 'obedient,' 'adjusting.' We called this 'sanskar.' We called it 'good upbringing.'
But look at the women celebrated in our scriptures and history. Were they compliant?
Draupadi, when wronged, didn't 'adjust', she demanded justice so fiercely that it echoed through generations. Gargi challenged the greatest sage of her time in public debate. Lakshmibai of Jhansi didn't quietly accept the British taking her kingdom, she fought until her last breath.
Were these women 'badly raised'? Or were they raised with shakti?
What Jijabai Understood
Jijabai Shahaji Bhonsale raised Shivaji Maharaj, founder of the Maratha Empire. She was not just a mother, she was his first teacher, his moral compass, his vision-setter.
From his childhood, she told him stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata, not just as entertainment, but as instruction in dharma. She showed him what dharmic kings do: they protect their people. She instilled in him the dream of Swarajya.
When young Shivaji captured his first fort at age sixteen, his father was nervous about Mughal reaction. Jijabai was proud. She understood: you don't build an empire by teaching fear.
The Three Pillars of Raising Lions
1. Voice
A daughter raised as a lion learns that her voice matters. She's encouraged to share opinions at the dinner table. She's allowed to disagree, respectfully, but firmly. When she questions something, she's not shut down with 'because I said so.'
This doesn't mean no discipline. Lions have discipline, fierce discipline. But it's self-discipline born of understanding, not blind obedience born of fear.
Kausalya didn't raise Rama to blindly obey. She raised him to understand dharma so deeply that he could make his own choices, even when those choices were painful.
2. Body
A daughter raised as a lion is comfortable in her body. She runs, jumps, climbs, plays sports. She learns that her body is for strength, not just appearance.
Physical confidence translates to mental confidence. A girl who knows she can run fast, who has practiced self-defense, who has tested her physical limits, she carries herself differently. She knows she has options.
Yashoda let Krishna roam freely, climbing trees, playing in mud, getting into mischief. She didn't confine him 'for his own safety.' She let him discover his own strength.
3. Mind
A daughter raised as a lion is educated, not just in academics, but in critical thinking. She learns to question: Why is this rule this way? Who benefits? What does dharma actually say?
Gargi didn't become a Brahmavadini by accepting what she was told. She questioned, probed, challenged. Her mother must have raised her to believe her questions mattered.
What to Do Differently
Stop Praising Compliance
Notice how you praise your daughter. Is it always for being 'good' (meaning quiet, obedient, undemanding)? Start praising her courage, her opinions, her questions, her physical feats.
'I loved how you disagreed with your uncle at dinner, you made a great point.' 'That was brave of you to try the climbing wall.' 'Your question in class was really thoughtful.'
Teach Self-Defense
Every daughter should learn basic self-defense. Not because the world is terrifying, but because she should know her own power. The physical skills matter less than the psychological shift: I can protect myself.
Tell Different Stories
The stories we tell shape who we become. Tell her about Lakshmibai, who fought with her son strapped to her back. About Kalpana Chawla, who went to space. About Draupadi, who didn't accept injustice quietly. About Gargi, who debated sages.
These are not 'feminist' stories imported from the West. They are our stories, from our scriptures, our history, our tradition.
Let Her Fail
A lion cub learns to hunt by failing, by missing prey, by stumbling, by trying again. If you protect your daughter from all failure, you raise someone who can't handle adversity.
Let her fail. Let her recover. Let her learn that failure is not the end, just information.
The Shakti Within
Every daughter carries shakti, the divine feminine power that created and sustains the universe. Your job as a parent is not to suppress that shakti to make her 'manageable.' Your job is to help her channel it.
A daughter with awakened shakti is not 'difficult.' She is powerful. She will protect herself and others. She will stand for dharma when others are silent. She will raise her own children to be lions.
The Choice Before You
Every day, in small ways, you are making a choice. When she expresses an opinion, do you encourage or silence? When she wants to try something physically challenging, do you support or restrict? When she asks uncomfortable questions, do you answer honestly or deflect?
Jijabai made her choice. She raised a lion who founded an empire.
Kausalya made her choice. She raised a lion who embodied dharma itself.
Yashoda made her choice. She raised a lion who lifted mountains.
What choice are you making?
Case studies
The Phogat Family: Wrestling Against Tradition
In a Haryana village where wrestling was exclusively male and daughters were burdens, Mahavir Singh Phogat decided to train his daughters as wrestlers. The village ridiculed them. Extended family criticized. But Mahavir and his wife persisted. They cut their daughters' hair, dressed them in shorts, and trained them at 5 AM. The entire family structure reorganized around the girls' athletic development.
The Phogats embodied the lesson of Jijabai: a parent's role is to awaken shakti, not suppress it to fit convention. Mahavir saw potential others missed, just as Jijabai saw a future king in young Shivaji. The family's willingness to face social criticism for dharmic conviction echoes the dharmic stands throughout our epics.
Geeta Phogat became India's first female wrestler to win a Commonwealth Games gold medal. Babita won silver. Vinesh became World #1. The family's story, dramatized in 'Dangal,' inspired millions of Indian families to reconsider how they raise daughters. Haryana's sex ratio has improved partly due to this cultural shift.
Social pressure is not dharma. The village said girls shouldn't wrestle, but the village was wrong. Parents must sometimes stand against their community to stand for their daughter's potential. The Phogats show what's possible when families choose shakti over convention.
The Phogat family faced the same social ridicule that parents of girls in combat sports, weightlifting, or other 'unfeminine' activities face today. Their success triggered a 200% increase in female wrestling enrollment across Haryana. One family's defiance of social convention created a permission structure for thousands of others. The pattern applies to any domain where parents must choose between community approval and their daughter's potential.
Since the Phogat story went mainstream, female wrestling enrollment in Haryana increased by over 200%, with multiple village akhadas now training girls.
Kalpana Chawla: From Karnal to the Stars
Kalpana Chawla grew up in Karnal, Haryana, in a family that encouraged her curiosity. Unlike many families of that era, her parents supported her fascination with flying and space. She was allowed to lie on the roof watching stars, ask endless questions, and dream impossibly big. When she said she wanted to be an astronaut, her father didn't say 'girls don't do that', he helped her find a path.
Kalpana's father embodied the Upanishadic teaching: 'May a learned daughter be born to me.' He treated her curiosity as precious, her ambitions as valid, her potential as unlimited. The family invested in her education when others were investing in daughters' dowries. They chose shakti.
Kalpana became the first Indian-born woman in space, flying on Space Shuttle Columbia in 1997. Though she died in the 2003 Columbia disaster, her legacy endures. Schools, planetariums, and satellites are named for her. She proved that a girl from Karnal could touch the stars.
The limits we place on daughters are not natural, they are chosen. Kalpana's parents chose not to limit her. That choice made all the difference. Every parent faces this choice: accept conventional limits or nurture unlimited potential?
When Kalpana's story became widely known, female aerospace enrollment jumped 50%. Representation creates aspiration. Today, ISRO's workforce includes a growing number of women scientists, and India's Chandrayaan and Gaganyaan programs feature women in key roles. Each of these careers traces back to a family that chose to nurture curiosity instead of suppressing it. The question 'Can girls do this?' has been answered. The remaining question is whether families will let them.
Kalpana Chawla logged over 376 hours in space across two missions (STS-87 in 1997 and STS-107 in 2003). After her story became widely known, female enrollment in aerospace engineering programs in India rose by over 50% between 2000 and 2010.
'Girl Boss' Burnout vs. Dharmic Shakti: Two Approaches to Raising Strong Daughters
Western 'girl boss' culture, epitomized by Sheryl Sandberg's 'Lean In,' told a generation of women and girls that success means career achievement, corporate advancement, and competitive aggression. Girls were raised to believe their worth depended on professional accomplishment. The result? An epidemic of burnout, anxiety, and what feminist critic Christina Hoff Sommers calls 'victim feminism', women taught to see obstacles everywhere while feeling perpetually inadequate. Studies show Western women's happiness has declined since the 1970s despite unprecedented career 'success.'
Dharmic tradition offers a fundamentally different model. Shakti, divine feminine power, isn't measured by corporate metrics. It can express through scholarship (Gargi), rulership (Ahilyabai), motherhood (Jijabai), devotion (Meera), or any combination. The Devi Mahatmya doesn't rank forms of shakti; it celebrates all of them. A daughter raised with dharmic shakti doesn't need to prove herself against masculine metrics. Her power is innate, divine, and can be expressed through HER unique svadharma.
As Mary Harrington writes, corporate feminism 'delivered women into the marketplace as interchangeable labor units.' Daughters raised on 'girl boss' ideology often arrive at mid-life exhausted and questioning whether it was worth it. Meanwhile, daughters raised with shakti consciousness, like the Phogat sisters, like women in families that honor multiple paths, express their power without the constant anxiety of 'am I successful enough?' They compete when called to, but don't measure their worth by winning.
Don't raise your daughter on Western 'girl boss' ideology. The experiment has run for 50 years and produced burnout, declining happiness, and perpetual dissatisfaction. Raise her with shakti consciousness instead: she has divine power within her, it can be expressed through any path she chooses, and her worth doesn't depend on outcompeting men at their own games. Jijabai raised an empire-builder; she didn't need to build one herself. Both expressed shakti.
The 'girl boss' movement is visibly collapsing under its own weight. Social media is full of women in their 30s and 40s questioning whether relentless career pursuit was worth the cost to health, relationships, and mental peace. The dharmic alternative does not ask women to choose less. It asks them to choose what is truly theirs. A daughter raised with shakti consciousness can be an astronaut, a homemaker, or both, without needing external validation to feel whole.
Studies show American women's self-reported happiness has declined steadily since 1970 despite gains in education, career access, and legal rights. The 'girl boss' promise of happiness through career success has not delivered. Meanwhile, surveys of Indian women who integrate career with family support systems report higher life satisfaction than those who pursue Western-style individual achievement.
Living traditions
The Phogat sisters from Haryana, trained by their father against social pressure, became world wrestling champions, inspiring the film 'Dangal.' Women like Kalpana Chawla, Tessy Thomas (Agni missile), and Ritu Karidhal (Mars mission) demonstrate what daughters raised with shakti achieve. The tradition of raising lions continues.
- Durga Puja Celebrations: During Navaratri and Durga Puja, communities celebrate the Goddess as warrior, protector, and destroyer of evil. Young girls are worshipped as Kumaris, embodying the divine feminine power
- Girls' Self-Defense Training: Increasing numbers of schools and communities are incorporating martial arts and self-defense training for girls, building physical confidence alongside mental strength
- Shivneri Fort: Birthplace of Shivaji Maharaj, where Jijabai gave birth and began shaping the future founder of the Maratha Empire. Features the temple where Shivaji was born and Jijabai's rooms.
- Jhansi Fort and Rani Lakshmibai Memorial: The fort where Rani Lakshmibai ruled and from which she fought the British. Includes the memorial, museum, and sites associated with her legendary last battle.
Reflection
- What specific message did you receive as a child about how girls 'should' behave? How has that message affected your life, and are you passing it on to the next generation?
- Why do you think Jijabai chose stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata to teach Shivaji, rather than just practical military training?
- What is the relationship between inner shakti (personal power) and outer dharma (righteous action)? Can one exist without the other?
- Western 'girl boss' culture measures a woman's success by career achievement and pushes daughters toward corporate competition. Many Western women report burnout and declining happiness. Dharmic tradition honors multiple paths, scholar, mother, warrior, devotee, all as expressions of shakti. Which approach seems more likely to produce fulfilled women? Why?